- Londoners are much more patient than NY'ers -- they can stand in a queue without rolling their eyes, shouting explicatives or tapping their toe (this was proven waiting 7 hours in a queue at Virgin Atlantic's JFK terminal while the airline tried to figure out how to reroute 300 passengers due to mechanical problems;
- The Tube system is a breeze to navigate vs the 1/2/4/5/6/Q/D/A/B/C/E/F/Red/Green/etc. subway lines of NY;
- London's street system is more difficult to follow compared to NYC's simple grid system -- but they also have several 100 years on us as a city to complicate matters
Settled back in the States and having met up with friends from both coasts, I can't help but ponder my conversations from this week:
A man rationalizing why the loss of a love 1/2 his age to the girl's ex-boyfriend is worth fighting for; categorizing a boyfriend as a boyfriend even though he is 40 and has not come out of the closet to his family and friends; a newly singled girl chasing after the Greek God she met on a plane but failed to get his digits; the woman who fantasizes what a relationship might be like with a man she has only exchanged emails with but can't quite bring herself to meet in person; the friend who wants to make a career change but can't quite give up the security of the high dollar paychecks.
There is a common thread weaving each of our stories together. On the surface, we share little in common: we represent different ethnicities, religions and sexualities. But looking deeper and listening closely, there are similarities.
If you weave our stories together, they could represent society's encyclopedia on life and love. The question I pose is: why are we willing to settle for anything less than pure happiness, pure love, pure fulfillment, pure satisfaction? Why do we invest more time in shared/closeted/imaginary lovers than we do in finding a true love who is as committed to us as we are to them? What good is a high paid job if we walk away from the office with low satisfaction? What's the point of working 80+ hour weeks if only a few hours remain to enjoy life?
Crisscrossed connections. In an effort to find what will make us happy, we are willing to settle for what might make us happy.
There are times in life when an answer is provided before the question ever arises. The answer to the aforementioned question actually presented itself a few weeks ago. Sitting on the couch watching a DVR'ed episode of Oprah, a guest made the following statement:
I'm the first example of how the world should love me; therefore, I must give them the best example ever.
If we tell the world with our actions that we will settle for an unfulfilling relationship, job or quality of life -- all scenarios leading to dissatisfaction, then chances are, we will receive just that and nothing more. However, if we say through our words, actions and decisions that we are worthy of only the most committed and loving partner, fulfilling career and rewarding quality of life, we stand a much better chance of attracting the equal.
I've been working on this exercise for the past few months and didn't realize it could be defined as succinctly as Oprah's guest did. It's tedious; one has to dig up and dispose of insecurities, develop self-value and self-respect to the point where you won't forsake your own self-worth in an attempt to attract and retain another person's attention. The process and time commitment is worth it though. While I haven't figured everything out (nor will I), I don't feel as crisscrossed in life as I once did. And happiness is much more abundant.
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